Friday, February 26, 2010

Shattering the glass

I have decided to not look at my naked body in the mirror for a week. Why? Because. I obsess. I am an obsessor and I'm impatient and if I can't see an instant drastic change after doing 50 crunches, I berate myself. That is not healthy but, I do it so, I am forcing myself to not look. Especially, when I am on a cardio machine. I never realized how often I stare at myself on the cardio. It's a shame really. Anyways, I realize that if I take a week off it may be beneficial to me in a couple ways. First, it will help me assess myself better. Second, I'll have a clearer headed view as to how I actually look- kind of a forest for the trees thing. All I know is that in a week I might not even care as much. I'll probably be gauging everything on how my clothes fit and god forbid I get ahold of a tape measure and at least I've never been a person obsessed with a scale. Eh, who knows. I'm not perfect. I have insecurities. I'm not always positive and I am my own worse critic. Know what else? I snuck one gnocchi at work today and it was effin' delicious. Then I pushed some tables around the room and carried trays to work it off. Yeah. That's how I think sometimes. Which is why I put my full length mirror in the closet as soon as I got home. Thanks, Fleur

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